As I sit in front of my Laptop, after a long day, flexing my fingers ready to type away my post… I fumble as I am unsure whether I would really be able to do justice in portraying my feelings through my words.
I am having a time constraint as there are commitments to fulfill and plans to execute but in spite of that, I want to do this reflections post. ‘Why?’ Asks the devilish side of me whose favorite tool is procrastination. ‘What is it good for?’
‘Absolutely everything!’ sings back my good conscience.
And this is what I was able to achieve in April– Everything which I had been losing with each passing day. My confidence, My willpower, My ability to work hard and My passion for writing.
My reasons for participating in this challenge were told in my post ‘A-Z Challenge… Why?‘ I wanted to test myself and wanted to do something which I had not attempted ever before. I don’t think I could have had a better opportunity than being in this challenge.
My happiness in accomplishing the challenge has not come easily. There have been sleepless nights, burnt dinners, boring takeaways, stress headaches, panic attacks, irritating hours, piles of laundry… and what not. But, even after going through all this, even after my devilish side coaxing me to just give up… I triumphed. This is what puts me in the state of euphoria.
The challenge was almost upon me when I had decided to participate in it. I was unable to really research about anything to come up with some topic. I tried many themes and was still not satisfied. Ultimately, I decided to write on a theme which didn’t need any researching, didn’t need any googling and didn’t need any reference but my own self.
The problem arose when I started writing it. Memories are easy to recall but difficult to put into words especially when they belong to your childhood where you may remember the main part but have forgotten other details. So, though some posts were easy, some really needed huge efforts.
It was a challenge for me at a personal level because it was the first time when I was opening up to the world at large. Being an introvert and a loner who isn’t into writing about personal experiences… it was a tough task.
As I used to write the posts, a small voice in my head kept nagging me, ‘Why are you writing about this?’ ‘Who would want to read this?’ ‘You really think this post is interesting?’ ‘Is this something to write about?’ and so on… There were doubts, hesitations at every nook and corner trying to trip me down yet I endeavored. I came to know a lot about my own self. I had accepted the fact that I was a lazy person who could give up on things in a blink, but A2Zchallenge helped me to realize my true self.
The support of my fellow readers helped me to keep on moving. The page views, the likes and the positive comments received were my boosters to continue on this path. I made so many friends during this course. Their stories about their memories made me happy and I felt closer to them. I also came across such great bloggers which really inspired me. Some had such amazing themes that I was rendered speechless, others bowled me over with their writing skills. (I have a special post coming up for the blogs which really touched me.)
I was guided by ‘Blogchatter‘ community from day one. The members were so helpful. The best thing which I liked about the ‘Blogchatter‘ members was that they came as they were… there was no pretense, no ego, no looking down on others. I was so glad to read their encouragements and guiding messages. Everyone took the challenge as WE, not I. If a member was unable to decide a topic on some letter, the members used to pour out streams of ideas to help out. If a member lagged behind with their posts, they used to keep telling him to buck up and encouraged that person. Some were so cool to admit that even they were lagging behind and it is all good still. This warmth all around made me feel so accepted even though I was a newbie to this community.
So all in all, if I need to sum up the quest of A2Zchallenge, which I took in the month of April, I would say this- It was challenging, laborious and strenuous but I am glad that I did it because… I found myself.